Is anyone ever fully prepared? Our parents went into parenthood with the loose advice from their friends and loved one's, and perhaps a doctor or two - they never had the resources that are out there today, and they were lucky if they got one grainy black and while ultrasound in the whole ordeal, and somehow they figured it out, they had their babies, and their babies grew up just fine. I know this trepidation is all in my mind, I know I'll be just fine, and that I could probably write my own book or two on pregnancy and the like based off of all the information that I have stored in my brain, however I always fear that I will run into a situation where I don't know enough. That I'm going to bring home this beautiful bundle of squirming love, and suddenly something is going to happen that I haven't read up on, and panic.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was going through the first few shaky weeks hoping and praying for my sticky bean, that everything would be alright, and that my pregnancy would be viable. It was a stressful time, and as I was lamenting to one of my fellow pregnant friends she gave me some really good advice, she said "The worrying will never stop. It starts at conception, and it doesn't end for the rest of your life - welcome to parenthood". It's true isn't it? I'm 28 with a family of my own living in a different city from my mom, and just the other day she sent me a text warning me that she heard about and e-coli outbreak in Edmonton, and that I should be very careful with buying meat from Costco for the next bit. The worrying will never stop, I suppose I need to make peace with that. This is my new life now - I'm not longer just roaming the earth responsible for myself, but now I am expecting this helpless little bundle that I am taking an unwritten vow to love, protect, care for and I suppose, worry about. Welcome to Parenthood.
Alright, enough with the philosophical ramblings... lets recap my week now shall we? And what a glorious week it has been! My last week working 8:30am-5pm, my last week attempting to "dress up" or look presentable in an office setting, and my last week with staff, and phone calls and emails to answer from employees and would be hopeful employees. I had been counting down for months, I swear I just did a recap where I stated I only had 65 days left, and somehow I got there without my noticing. My replacement was all trained up, and comfortably settled in my desk with her own answering machine message on my phone, and all my email contacts safely stored in her new Outlook Email program. I had taken a desk in one of the unused offices this week, and I basically just let her do her thing, and I stood by for the odd question or situation. The transition went smoothly, and on friday at 3pm, the staff gathered in the board room with cake and cards and wished me well on my new adventure. The end of an erra, the end of the "day job".
See I'm not just leaving for a year, I'm leaving indefinitely. For years I have wanted to be a stay at home mom, to be able to attend soccer games, piano recitals, and field trips with my children, and be there for them for help with homework and science projects, and Ben and I figured out a way to make that dream a reality - and here's the best part: I get to have my cake and eat it too. I'm a makeup artist by trade, but I had resolved early on that I would always need a day job, that makeup, although a deep love of mine, would not pay the mortgage alone, and that I would always have it on the back burner while I worked a 9-5 instead. For years I worked week days for the pay cheque, and weekends for my soul, my creativity, and my passion. But from here on out, I can tell people I'm a makeup artist through and through. I have my own thriving successful company, partnered with one of the best photographers in the city, and for the first time in my life, I am able to make money doing something I love! It's an amazing feeling! I get to not only work for myself, but I get to make my own hours, decide when and who I do work for, and schedule it all around my kid(s). I'm living the dream! MY dream! 2012/2013 are turning out to be awesome years! And I can imagine it's only getting better from here on out!
On the weekend Melissa and I spent Saturday doing 4 shoots, and then Ben and I worked to finish off the last little bits of the house to get it ready for company, as Sunday was our Baby Shower!
Ben and I were completely overwhelmed by the unexpected turnout and generosity at our shower on Sunday! We had people travel from all over to come together to celebrate little Lump, and I know I was fighting the urge to get a little choked up a couple times during the festivities! Our little girl is so loved already, and it really meant so much to us that so many people came out. The day was perfect, the weather cooperated beautifully and Ben's Mom and Dad threw together an amazing event! We just can't thank them enough! When all was said and done, we had trouble fitting everything in our car to drive home at the end of the day, and we had so much fun going through everything and sorting the items into piles to put away in the nursery. Our baby's room is so full now I can't see her needing much else these days! Thank you again everyone, Ben and I cannot express our gratitude and appreciation to you all enough!!! <3
On Monday I got to spend my first day of Mat leave at work with Melissa! I couldn't sleep in, so I ended up getting up early, and running some errands to get groceries, and put on some laundry and such before heading to the studio to work on two lovely ladies, before coming home to spend a nice evening wtih my mom and Ben! I could really get used to this whole "home during the day" thing! My house has never been tidier, nor my kitchen counters cleaner, or laundry more caught up! I can have dinner ready and waiting for Ben at 5:30, and because we don't have to come home and start making dinner at 5:30, and THEN start cleaning the house and putting laundry on, we get to really enjoy our evenings together now! We went for a walk in the leaves the other night! I can't remember the last time we had time to just enjoy each other's company at the end of the day, rather than just working along side each other! I'm not so ignorant that I think it will always be this way, I know there are going to be times that Ben comes home to find me holding a screaming teething toddler looking ragged and crying that I was too exhausted to come up with something to eat, and that I didn't get a chance to use the bathroom the whole day! I know I won't always be a Stepford wife, but right now, it feel really damn good!
Anyway, on to the recap!!
How far along? 34 Weeks
Total weight gain: 26 Pounds
- increasing every week now!
Inches gained in the waist: 11.5” (47” waist now!)
Inches gained in the waist: 11.5” (47” waist now!)
Maternity
clothes? Yes!!
Stretch marks? Sadly
yes… they have arrived… although I only noticed them on the lower portion of my
belly on Thursday so I’m not sure if they count for this week, but since my
view of the North of the Equator that is my tummy is very limited, they could
have been there earlier this week as well, so I’m going to say Yes to this one
this week. Here’s hoping they fade
quickly and completely!
Sleep: Sleep in a nut
shell, sucks. I can’t get
comfortable, my hips start aching when I lie on my side, my back hurts when I
lie on my back, I go from cold to Fever in 2 minutes flat, and I can’t seem to
stay asleep for more than a 1 hour block of time. All in all, not great.
Best moment this week: The
Baby shower, so many loved one’s there to rub my belly and wish me well!!
Miss Anything? Sleeping
straight through the night would be awesome… Also having shirts that cover my belly would be nice too...
Movement: So much! She used to just roll and kick when I laid down, but now she doesn’t even wait for that, and a couple times at the baby shower she showed off her snazzy moves to friends and family as I was standing too!
Movement: So much! She used to just roll and kick when I laid down, but now she doesn’t even wait for that, and a couple times at the baby shower she showed off her snazzy moves to friends and family as I was standing too!
Food cravings: Nothing
really these days.
Anything making you queasy
or sick: Nope
Gender: GIRL!
Labor Signs: Still just
BH contractions now and then
Symptoms: more
of the same
Belly Button in or
out? Still in as of right now, but it is becoming shallower and shallower
every day, and when I pull my skin flush I can make it pop out, so perhaps it
will pop after all? I still have
another 6 weeks to go, and Lump is doing a hell of a lot of growing lately… (hence the stretch marks!)
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring.
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring.
Happy or Moody most of the
time: Very Happy!
Looking forward
to: My little one’s
arrival!
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