The Daddy Experience

Ben and I are so excited to be entering into parenthood, but we're also a little nervous, as most new parents are.  To try to talk out some of those concerns and such, Ben decided to make a YouTube Channel called The Daddy Experience, and film weekly vlogs asking questions, and talking out his experiences in this new adventure.

He launched the very first video on week 19, and we just uploaded the week 20 video last night, after filming week 21!  The video's will be weekly, but there won't be regularly scheduled days that they are posted as our schedule doesn't always allow for timely filming and editing, so they ends up getting done when we have a chance.

In the meantime, here is The Daddy Experience - Episode 1 and 2.  I may not post all the videos in my blog in the coming weeks, so make sure you subscribe to the channel on YouTube if you want to catch the weekly updates from the Daddy Perspective!  From my point of view - these videos just remind me why I love this man so much, and tell me that he's going to be one hell of an awesome father (and our kid will have just enough dysfunctional to make her amusing to others :p)

Enjoy!

The Daddy Experience - 19 Weeks

The Daddy Experience - 20 Weeks

21 weeks

We're on the short side of our pregnancy now!  I can't believe it!  July is just days away, it'll be August before I know it, and I will be entering into the 3rd Trimester!  I typically count my weeks by my weekend jobs, and I'm currently booked up every single weekend until early Sept - so if I start looking at time job by job, it'll be here before we know it!

We've had a busy week!  So much so that it seems like my 20 week update was a lot longer away than it actually was!  We got started on the Baby's room and Ben and Faajha ripped down the drywall and insulation to expose the bare wood frame of our house - the next step is to get an electrician in there to wire another outlet, and to fix the wiring on the bathroom fan, and we can start covering everything back up with proper insulation and drywall - THEN I can paint and order my furniture!  (I'm dying to start!!)

I'm hoping we can get an electrician in in the next week or so, so we can continue with the renovations - I don't want the room to come to a stand still at this point!

Then on Sunday night I was Melissa's Model for her Boudoir Posing Workshop (she was teaching people how to hide a less than toned midsection - and these days, I have quite the belly to hide!)  One of the 9-10 photographers who were in the workshop already posted a couple of her favorite photos' of me, and I must say, I'm impressed!  Baby belly What?

The top photo is my current favorite photo posted of me!  Can you believe that my strategic arm and guitar placement was hiding THIS:

Melissa is amazing!  Seriously!  She was so worried that she wouldn't have anything to teach them - but I think these photos are a pretty good testament that she did!  I can't wait for the day my daughter is old enough to understand when I show her that photo, and tell her that she was inside my tummy during that photo shoot!  

Anyway, back to babies!    

How far along? 21 Weeks

Total weight gain: 9 Pounds  - Climbing every week now!
Inches gained in the waist: 5 1/2"  - An Inch bigger around in a week!

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  None on the belly!

Sleep:  For the most part, I’m doing okay, my biggest disturbance this week is Emmy getting cold from us sleeping with the windows open, and forcing himself under the covers with me at 5am. 

Best moment this week:  Now and then I notice that my bump is very lopsided – I never feel her kick or move, but I look down and see that the curve of my tummy is not centered, and that my little girl must be lying to one side.  I have decided to call her Lump because of this –

Miss Anything?   I’m starting to feel like my movements are a little more laboured these days – mostly in walking and climbing stairs and what not – it’s feeling like my legs are seeming a little tight, and it’s a little more difficult to do the things I have done in the past so easily.  Perhaps this is the start of swelling legs?
Movement: Haven’t felt anything at all myself, although Ben put his hand on my tummy first thing in the morning while I was still asleep, and he said she kicked his hand, so it could be that she does all her moving when I’m unconscious! 

Food cravings: Mostly just food in general – I go from “I could eat” to “Completely Starved” in about 5 minutes these days – Still the same this week

Anything making you queasy or sick:   The smell of fish pre-cooking was less than pleasant last night

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: Too early! 

Symptoms: I had another day of headaches, but it’s not as frequent anymore.  Also, as I mentioned above, I feel as though my legs are getting a little more swollen, When Ben and I got for walks these days, we seem to be moving slower and slower. 

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but I'm still wearing my "replacement ring" which is my old junior high ring from my parents.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:  Feeling some kicks!  

20 Weeks - Halfway point!

How did I get halfway through my pregnancy and not notice?  This whole time I have just been counting week by week, but it wasn't until Saturday when someone asked me how far along I was, and then remarked "oh, you're half way!"  that it hit me - I AM halfway through!  Wow - 4.5 months really flys!

I can still to this day remember every single thing about the morning we found out!  My alarm went off at 7am and grabbed my thermometer even before opening my eyes and took my temperature - before I even had the thermometer out of my mouth, Ben was asking if my temperature was up - which it was (a good sign), so he quickly threw the covers off, and coaxed me into the bathroom where I got out my tests.  After I did my part, I called him in to examine the tests and watch the lines develop.  I had a couple of cheap internet tests that I had bought in bulk that I tested with first, and after seeing a faint line on those, I grabbed my life brand test, and sure enough, a + developed almost instantly!

Ben and I looked at each other with big smiles, and I said "we're going to have a baby!"  And he scooped me up into a big hug as I started to cry.  It was such a great moment - and I know I'll remember it for a long time.

Now here I am, 20 week pregnant, and although those first two weeks I had been waiting to get that positive test had felt like the longest time, this pregnancy hasn't!  Okay, granted the first trimester was a little nerve racking, and it did feel like it took a long time to get to 12 weeks, but from then on, it's been flying by!

Here's the bump today:

It's a pretty perfect bump if I do say so myself, and I'm pretty pleased with it.  I find more times than not, I sit with my hands rested on it, or I find myself rubbing my belly when I'm standing talking to people.  In fact if you watched the Gender video, you can see that I do it a couple times there too!  I also found that I'm assuming the typical pregnancy pose when standing these days... you know the one:

I ran out to grab a few ingredients for dinner the other day, and thought I would treat my hubby to some of his favourite beer - since I knew we didn't have any in the house, so I went into the liquor store, and it wasn't until I was standing there in front of the cooler scouring the beer choices with my hands on my back, and my very pregnant belly sticking out in front of me, that I realized what a spectacle I must have been.  I also got some very funny looks waddling back to the car with a 12 pack of beer in my hands too.


All in all though, aside from the odd headache, and the middle of the night cramps, I'm doing really well with this pregnancy.  I'm kind of hoping my little girl kicks me a little more though - I did feel two kicks on friday, at least I'm fairly certain they were kicks - although I haven't felt anything since, so now I'm doubting myself. I have two friends who are due in the two days following my due date, and their little one's are kicking them constantly these days - I wish I was feeling some of those movements too.  I'm trying not to over think things though - it's funny, a friend of mine said the worrying starts at conception and doesn't stop until you take your last breath, and so far that's been a pretty accurate estimation.  It's all I can do to not to stress that my baby isn't moving enough, and that something is wrong - from looking at the ultrasound, it appears my little one is fairly calm - she didn't really fidget all that much, and allowed the ultrasound tech to get some really great pictures and video because she was pretty still for the most part - so I just have to keep telling myself that everything is perfect.

I'm also hoping that the calmness of my child also means that she will want to sleep through the night right from the first day!  (a Mom can dream right?) ... wow.  Mom.  That sounds weird.    Anyway - I've been questioning the parents lately, and according to both Ben's mom and my mom we both slept through the night almost immediately - my mom said she can count on one hand how many times she had to get up in the middle of the night with both me and my brother, and Ben's mom agreed that he slept right through right away too - so I'm really hoping our little one takes after Mom and Dad and enjoys sleep as much as we do. (Fingers crossed!)

Anyway - here's the recap for the week (I feel like I literally JUST did one of these - that's how fast these days are flying by lately!)

How far along? 20 Weeks

Total weight gain: 8 Pounds  - Now my weight is starting to go up! 
Inches gained in the waist: 4 1/2"  - No change here!

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  None on the belly!

Sleep:  Middle of the night cramps are a thing now – apparently – so the last couple nights I’ve woken in the middle of the night with a lot of pain in my tummy, and I have to get up and move around before they go away and I can get back to sleep

Best moment this week:  Announcing the Gender to our family and Friends! 

Miss Anything?   I’ve been  missing summer cocktails and drinks – the Sun is out, and everyone is talking about Ginger Beer, and Slush, and Margarita’s and I’m feeling a little left out with my water
Movement: Very faint – still only a handful of flutters, and only 2 kicks that were back to back about 5 days ago.  Perhaps my tummy has grown so large there is so much room for baby in there, that they are not cramped enough to reach the walls yet?

Food cravings: Mostly just food in general – I go from “I could eat” to “Completely Starved” in about 5 minutes these days, and Ben was laughing at me the other day because I was so hungry that I started looking around the car to see if there were crackers or something in the back seat that I had forgotten about.    

Anything making you queasy or sick:   The odd Bad smell, but it doesn’t last long. 

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: Too early! 

Symptoms:  Memory is just crap, and some days I get the fatigue again, but so far so good!  The odd headache, but they have been fewer these days, so I’m hoping that phase of pregnancy is done with now.  Now I just have the delightful sleep cramps to deal with these days

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but I'm still wearing my "replacement ring" which is my old junior high ring from my parents.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:  Feeling some kicks!  

The Reveal

Okay - Here is the long awaited blog post - the Gender Reveal!  (Even though most of you reading my blog are doing so through facebook, and thus already know what we are having by the time you read this... but try to act surprised!)

FINALLY Father's Day was upon us, and having commissioned Fuss Cupcakes to make us a color coordinated cake, all we had to do was wait for noon to arrive so we could pick up the cake, and then head north to Ben's parents house for the reveal.  Fortunately though, we didn't have a full day of silence, as I called my mom first thing in the morning to give her her own reveal because she wasn't able to be there for the cake cutting!

Maybe it was the birds chirping, the brightness in the room, or excitement itself, but Ben and I had a horrible night's sleep and found ourselves wide awake at 6am, after having dropped into bed just past 1:30am.  We managed to force ourselves back into slumber a little longer only to wake up again at 6:45, then again at 7:15 before finally just giving in to consciousness, and just getting up.  Being only 7ish AM and knowing it was still far too early to call my mom (she's a late sleeper) we killed time online and talked until 8:30 when we couldn't take it any more, and I decided to just wake my mom up!

When she answered she was groggy, but excited to hear that it was us, so I think she woke up very quickly knowing what was coming.  But before we could say anything she said "It's a boy right?" ... funny how many people have been saying that lately...  I corrected "It's a girl!"  Our little Thieson is a Baby Girl!

Once we got off the phone with mom, we made breakfast, and did some chores around the house, before getting ready and heading out.  We stopped at Fuss Cupcakes and picked up the cake, which was even more amazing than we were expecting! 

    
The Booties on the top were a nice touch!  I didn't even ask for that!  So cute!! 


Once we got to Mom and Dad T's we wandered around the yard and chatted until Dee arrived, and then set up the camera for cake time!  Here's the video:

As you can see - our little baby girl will be welcomed with open arms!  ... And the cake was Delicious!!  

It's funny how many people were coming out of the wood work guessing that we were having a little boy this last week.  As soon as I knew the gender, Aunts, Uncles, Parents, Cousins and Co-workers were all telling me that they were sure I was having a boy.  (It's really hard to keep a straight face when someone makes a statement like that, and you know they are wrong lol).  I'm relieved I don't have to keep this secret any more!  That was hard work!  Especially since we went to a BBQ with a lot of extended family on Saturday - people that I was either meeting for the first time, or I haven't seen since I announced my pregnancy at Easter, so lots of people wanted to talk about the baby, and on more occasions than not I had to slow down what I was saying to make sure I wasn't giving the gender away!  


Now I can shout it from the rooftops if I so choose - I'M HAVING A GIRL!!!!  *sigh*  That feels awesome!  


I would have been thrilled to find out I was having a little boy too - but I am relived that Ben and I will at least have a little girl so that I am able to pass on my wealth of knowledge of the Beauty world - I joked with Ben that if we didn't have a girl, our boys would surely be the most well kept little men around with perfectly gelled hair, and a new haircut every week!  (I have to do something with my talents!)  But I am pretty happy that I know I will have a little princess to braid, and curl and one day shadow, and manicure :)   All in all - Ben and I are completely Thrilled :) 




(Editing note... I haven't a clue what happened to my formatting or how to change it...  I guess this is the last time I color the words in a post... ) 

19 weeks!

I know I'm late again, but this time I did it on purpose - you see we found out the Gender yesterday morning, and all day it was all I could do not to shout it from the roof tops, so I didn't trust myself to write this blog for fear that I would let something slip.  So I gave myself a day to let it sink in (to the point where it's no longer the very first thing I want to blurt out when people say hi).

Why keep it a secret you ask?  Well because I have a certain flair for the theatrical (as evident by our announcement video) Ben and I love surprises - and we love to catch the surprise on tape!  So this weekend I have commissioned Fuss Cupcakes to make me a cake to help celebrate my Father in Law's Birthday and Fathers Day, and the inside of the cake will either be Blue or Pink, and that is our Gender reveal for the family.  We want to catch the reaction when Dad cuts into the cake and pulls out a piece on camera as another great memory for the digital baby book  So of course since our immediately family get to be the first to know, I can't exactly post our happy news to Facebook and send out a mass text message to anyone who's talked to me in the last year, now could I?

So you have to wait.  But only till Sunday, and really it's Wednesday anyway... I had to wait 19 weeks to find out, so I think you guys following along on this journey with me can wait another few days!  It'll be worth it I promise!

In the meantime - Meet Peanut!

And another:

Anyway, lets get to the Belly Shots!

I CAN say that there is Only ONE in there!  When I went into my Ultrasound, I asked the Tech "Every time I post a picture of my belly, at least one person asks me if I'm sure I'm only having one - I would know if I'm having twins by now wouldn't I?"  And she responded "I would hope so!  Otherwise you're going to ruin my whole day!"  I discovered later that the reason for her remark is because it was a 45 minute appointment because she had to take pictures of, and measure absolutely every part of baby to make sure everything is growing properly.  If she had to take all of those measurements for two babies I would have thrown off her whole schedule!  But lucky for her, only One Baby!

And a healthy little bub at that!  I'm happy to report that my little peanut is growing exactly on schedule in the 50% percentile and is currently approximately 10 oz.  They have 10 fingers and 10 wiggly toes, straight feet, and a beautiful 4 chamber heart that was pumping away at about 149bmp.

Because it's in the kids future to have large feet we jokingly asked the tech if those feet looked big to her, but she was concentrating on something, and only remarked "they are straight, that's all I care about!"  Fair enough.

I saw my OB this morning to go over the ultrasound report and did find out however that my placenta is 1.5 cm from my cervix which means I may have a c-section in my future if it doesn't move up and out of the way in time for baby's exit, but I'm not worried right now, as I'm not even half way through my pregnancy, so there is still plenty of time for things to move around in there.  And I'm sure they will, my OB mentioned it so casually too that she wasn't concerned at all.  She just said she will send me for another Ultrasound on week 28 to make sure things moved, but she said they usually do.


Recap time!

How far along? 19 Weeks

Total weight gain: 4 Pounds – my weight keeps fluctuating between 4 and 5 pounds
Inches gained in the waist: 4 1/2"  - No change here!

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  None on the belly!

Sleep:  It seems like it’s getting better, but I could just be getting used to it, I do recall waking up several times in the middle of the night though, so who knows!       

Best moment this week:  Seeing our little peanut at the Ultrasound, and finding out the Gender!!!  I haven’t been able to see them for 10 weeks, and it was a very long 10 weeks!   

Miss Anything?   My regular bland sense of smell?  I’m so tired of being hungry, and then smelling some type of spice that completely turns me off for a few minutes. 
Movement: Yes, but not as much as I was expecting by now, I thought there would be some legitimate kicks, but it’s still only been the odd flutter, and I can still only recall about 6 times that I’ve felt them. 

Food cravings: Still the suggestion cravings – I don’t crave something until someone posts a picture or something.  But in general, I want food, and lots of it, all throughout the day – I’m always hungry!  

Anything making you queasy or sick:   The odd Bad smell, but it doesn’t last long. 

Gender: Known only by Mommy and Daddy… for now.     

Labor Signs: Too early!  But I think I have been experiencing a bit of Braxton Hicks Contractions, which just feel like really crappy cramps. 

Symptoms:  Memory is just crap, and some days I get the fatigue again, but so far so good!  The Headaches are currently my least favorite symptom these days, and they are becoming almost a daily occurrence – which is awesome.  The only thing that seems to help them though, is just going to bed and getting a solid nights sleep.  Even naps tend to make them worse! 

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but I'm still wearing my "replacement ring" which is my old junior high ring from my parents.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:  Revealing the Gender to our Family!!!! 

"What do you think you're having?"

This last weekend I ran my usual beauty gauntlet, and was asked by both my clients "What do you think you're having?"  Since I'm now at the stage where it's pretty obvious that I'm pregnant and not just pigging out at the weekend buffets, I find my pregnancy becomes a main topic with most of my clients these days, and I'm happy to oblige, I love talking about being pregnant!  I love everything about being pregnant!  Except this question - it's not that I feel like people have no business in knowing - not at all actually, Ben and I plan to announce the gender just as soon as we get to tell the family one on one first, it's more so that I don't feel qualified to answer such a question!

I know - it's weird.  To think that the person closest to this little one has no idea how to answer seems silly.  I have met a lot of pregnant women on this journey of mine and so many have strong feelings toward one or the other and most of the time they end up being correct - I think the statistic is something like Mothers Intuition is 70% accurate or something like that?  

But I think my Mother's Intuition might be broken, or it hasn't developed yet - I really have no strong feelings toward either side, I think I flip and flop each day - sometimes I call baby "he" and the other times I'm picking out pink accents for the nursery - I really have no idea what I'm doing here, it seems.

In the entire first trimester I thought I was having a girl, based solely on the Old Wives Tale that stated that when you have a little girl the mother's good looks go to the baby - because I had the worse acne I've ever had, my hair went straight and stringy (no more bouncy curls for me!), and I started losing it in chunks in the shower (which hasn't happened since I stopped dying my hair with drug store dyes).  I didn't feel pretty to say the least, I felt horrible, my skin was greasy for the first time ever, and I was breaking out not only on my face and cleavage, but on my shoulders, neck, and back too!  And to top it all off, my naturally slow growing soft blond leg hair, was suddenly sprouting up at an alarming rate, and was coming in brown!

By the second trimester the acne had subsided, I made peace with my now straight hair, and either my leg hair slowed down, or I just stopped caring (I'm not sure which), so I started feeling good about myself again, and with that new found confidence I suppose my opinion about my bean changed too - these days Boy seems to be the general thought, but in all honesty, it's as good as a wild guess!

Just for fun, I look up those Old Wives tales that tell you what you are having based off of specific symptoms or "tests" and I always seem to be right down the middle for them all!  Here's a recap of some of the more popular ones:

Peeing on Baking Soda - Tale:  If the Baking soda foams up, you are having a boy, if it does nothing, it's a girl.  Result:  Boy.  But here's the reason this doesn't work - This really just tests the pH of my own urine, not the baby's, and my own pH can change depending on what I've eaten that day.

Wedding Ring Test - Tale: Dangle a wedding ring in front of the baby bump, if the ring swings in a circular motion- it's a girl, if it swings back and forth, it's a boy.  Result: Girl.   Now here's the reason this doesn't work - unless your have a stable object like a lamp post holding the other end of the string your own shaky hand is what is influencing what the ring does on the end.  And although in the end I think I ended up with an accurate result, I did have to do this test several times before I believed that my hand was actually holding still.  Also, although I believe my little bub is amazing - I don't think they control the pull of gravity..

Chinese Gender Predictor Test - Tale:  According to the mothers Chinese age on the month of conception you will be able to tell whether you will have a boy or girl -  90% accurate  Result: Both.  For science's sake, I checked 10 different websites all asking for age and conception month, and my results were right down the middle - 50% were Boy, 50% were Girl.

Faster leg hair growth - Tale:  If the hair on your legs grows faster during pregnancy you are having a boy  Result:  Boy.  This is supposed to be a thing because if you are carrying a boy the testosterone effects the growth of your leg hair - when in actuality, the baby doesn't not have a high enough quantity of hormones to have any effect on the mother.

Craving Sweets or Sour/Salty - Tale:  If you are craving sweets, it's a girl, if you are craving salty or sour it's a boy.  Results:  Girl.  I don't really think there is any truth to this, mainly because even before I was pregnant I would choose sweets over salty/sour foods (Ben and I go to the movies, and I get chocolate, and he gets popcorn!) And these days I have been avoiding the very sour for fear that it will trigger my heartburn!

There were a lot more "tales" that I could go through, and when it's all said and done, I'm still left directly in the middle with 50% boy and 50% girl.  Might as well flip a coin!

So there you have it - I'm having both!

Actually... funny story, the other night I had a dream we finally went to our much awaited Gender Ultrasound, and the Ultrasound tech turned to me and said "you do know you are carrying twins right?!?" Apparently according to my dream, I have both a boy AND a girl in there!  I think everyone asking me if I'm  "sure there's only one in there?"  Is starting to influence my subconscious!  And this was also a way for my subconscious to explain why I can't decide which gender I'm carrying!  Ben and I spent the whole rest of my dream frantically trying to order a second crib, and re-working the budget to include another little one in there!

I'm sure there is only one in there based on the fact that I would think that out of the 5 professionals that have examined me so far, I'm sure someone would have discovered baby #2 by now!  But I guess we'll see tomorrow!

So do I have any idea what I'm having?  Nope.  Not a clue.  I would be thrilled with either!  I know, I know, "As long as the baby is healthy" is such a cliche thing to say, but it's true in every way.  Ben and I want a Boy and a Girl at some point, so I really have no preference on who comes first!  Or hell, if they both come at once!  That would be fine too!  In Less than 24 hours, we should know - baby permitting of course, some of them are a little too modest to give the tech a good look, so our wait might be longer, but I really hope we get our results tomorrow!

What do you think?  Boy or Girl?  




  

Letting go of Control

I have been struggling with my weight my entire life.  I don't think I can name a time frame in my life when I wasn't on some sort of diet, or exercise regime.  I'm an expert at counting calories, and I know all the portions I should been sticking to by heart.  I could list my BMI, and I even have a digital WiFi scale that automatically sends all my weigh in information to a spreadsheet online so I can accurately track any and all gain and loss.  Until now.

I'm pregnant, my weight is going up, my waist line is getting bigger, I have cravings, I seem to be nibbling on something at all hours of the day, and an hour after I'm completely "couldn't eat another bite - stuffed" I'm absolutely ravenous.  Which is totally fine, and totally normal - but my "fat girl brain" unfortunately doesn't acknowledge that there has been a change, and I find I'm struggling to quiet the stupid little voice in the back of my head telling me that I should work out more, and that I need to eat less.  It's a hard voice to quiet after years of training it to trigger whenever I needed a little help making healthy choices, so I find I'm having the inner conflict every time I open the fridge to find another snack, or when my back is hurting and I choose to curl up on the sofa and watch TV rather than going for a walk.

Another element to this conflict is the fact that just 5 short months after my little one is brought into the world, I will be in Mexico to stand beside one of my very good friends as she marries her love (who is another good friend).  Mexico.  Where the weather easily peaks +36 degrees each day, where there is sun and sand and water, and where you live a week with bathing suits being your primary under garments - that Mexico!  I don't want to have to cover up under a lot of flowy moo-moo like dresses because I'm still working on baby weight, I want to look great!  To whip my body back into shape and strut around the pool in a bikini with a baby on my hip!  I know there will be hundreds of pictures taken at that time, and I want to look back on them and smile - proud of my accomplishments.

So what's the problem?  Well my brain won't seem to let me relax about the fact that I shouldn't wait until November, and that I should be hitting the gym now!  That I need to watch what I eat, and avoid snacking so much.  I should be counting calories right?  Wrong.  I'm not on a diet - the baby doesn't need a diet, the baby needs nutrition, and if the baby needs to eat every hour than so be it, the baby will eat every hour!

I know this - and please know for everyone reading this that I'm not about to start training for a marathon at this point in time because the little voice in my head is having a hard time dealing with this life change - I am ignoring it, and will continue to do so.  What this post is about is giving my body time to rest and let nature take over, and how hard it is for me to do that.

I'm a control freak, I'll whole heartedly admit that.  I like to know what's happening and when, I want things scheduled, written down and documented in triplicate if necessary.  My computer documents are littered with spreadsheets and lists, and I have folders for every future event Ben and I may face in the next 10 years.  So to sit back, and give up control over my body and allow "nature to do it's thing" well now - this is something new for me.  I do have to admit though, Nature seems to be doing a bang up job!

I will be the first to admit that I don't know how to make a baby (no... not like that, I'm not talking about A into B here) I'm talking about creating a central nervous system, starting the heart beating, putting all the vertebrae, fingers, toes, eyes, ears, nose, everything in the right spot - I'm talking about completely creating a life from scratch.  I don't know the first thing about it - but the wonderful amazing thing is that my body does.  I didn't have to take a class, or read a book, I was born with this blueprint already inside me - an instruction booklet imprinted on my cells that read out exactly what to do when the time comes.  (I read this great quote that said: "If having a baby required a preparatory degree the species would have died eons ago!"  So true!)

So then who am I to try to step in and take control when my body already has the job covered?  How could I possibly step up and say "I think you're doing great, but I need to take back control over a couple things if that's cool - but I still want you to do your job, you won't even know I'm here".  Yeah, anyone ever have a boss like that before?  The guy who really hasn't a clue what you do in a day but suddenly gets an idea on how they could improve on a process they know nothing about and suddenly steps in to make your life a living hell (and basically ends up causing you more work in the long run?).  Yeah - I hate that guy.  Everyone hates that guy.  I won't do that to my body, I won't be "that guy".  While I'm out of my element, this is something it was made to do!

So I'm just going to quiet that stupid little voice in the back of my brain, feed it cheese, and curl up with a book and enjoy going for the odd waddle around the block now and then.  I'm creating a life - there will be plenty of time for scales, free weights, and high intensity training come the fall - secondary of course, to feedings, baby cuddles, and love for my child.

18 weeks Official Start of 5 Months

5 months pregnant!  Wow!  Where did the last 4 months go?!?

I'm a little late on this, Ben and I spent a great deal of yesterday trying to figure out my Mat Leave benefits and work out our budget for the coming year once I leave work, and after that was all said and done, I completely forgot to do a blog post!  But that being said, it's looking like we'll be just fine financially!  I have to admit I was stressed, merely because I fear the unknown, but once we crunched the numbers and put everything down on paper, it's not as scary as I thought losing half my income would be!  It's so great to have a plan!  I live for planning!!

Anyway, on to the baby!  It seems my little one has been growing!  And it's weird that I don't seem to notice how big I am, but you need to understand - this is my point of view:

According to what I can see, my tummy only really sticks out 2 maybe 3 inches, so it doesn't look that big to me - it's not until Ben takes my weekly picture from the side that I really realize just HOW BIG I am!!!   And this weeks picture was definitely a bigger than usual surprise!  For comparison's sake, here's my 17 week picture:

And here is 18 weeks, a mere 7 days after....

Holy crap is really all I can say to that!  I didn't even notice my tummy had changed shape like that until I looked at the picture!  And even Ben, who sees me every day didn't notice the change until he looked back at the other photo!  Kidlet had a growth spurt!!  According to TheBump.com my little one is currently the size of a Sweet Potato!  At 19 weeks, they will be a Mango!  Also at 19 weeks, they will hopefully no longer be a "they" as Ben and I go for our Gender Ultrasound on June 12th!  (But you guys have to wait another week, since we are doing a special announcement with the Family on the 17th, so we won't be telling anyone until after that!)

I'm still feeling really good, waddling more now, but that's expected with a watermelon hanging off of my midsection, and I actually discovered that I'm carrying absolutely everything out front.  From the back, I don't even look pregnant, which really surprised me!  Because of the way I hold my weight (everywhere) I always thought I would be one of those pregnant women that gain weight all over their bodies, rather than just in one place, but baby seems to be proving me wrong!  I'm okay with that!  It just means that I can still attempt to wear some of my old clothing with a few modifications made to the belly area (I can still fit jackets, I just can't zip them up etc)

But that's enough about the bump, here's the recap!

How far along? 18 Weeks

Total weight gain: Up to 5 Pounds now!
Inches gained in the waist: 4 1/2"

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  None on the belly!

Sleep:  It’s decent, I wake up every morning feeling completely exhausted, and my dreams have been extremely vivid!  Plus I’ve been having trouble falling asleep – I think it’s only 1 night out of 7 that I can actually fall asleep within a decent time frame when I’m tired at night!     

Best moment this week:  I think my favorite moments have been taking pictures, and just rubbing my belly and being happy! 

Miss Anything?   Energy mostly.  I’m not at all as fatigued as I used to be, but I’m still taking advantage of naps as often as I can, and I find I’m lacking motivation to get things done around the house and such because I’m tired.
Movement: Yes definitely!  

Food cravings: Still the suggestion cravings – I don’t crave something until someone posts a picture or something.   

Anything making you queasy or sick:   Hunger – the other night Ben and I got groceries right after work before going home, so I was absolutely starving, and I was starting to think that that would be the first time I would throw up in this pregnancy.  I was definitely feeling queasy!  

Gender: Unknown – Only 1 more weeks! 

Labor Signs: Too early! 

Symptoms:  Memory is just crap, and some days I get the fatigue again, but so far so good!  I’m developing quite the waddle, and my peeing seems to increased again.  Also the headaches are way more frequent - and I could do without them...     

Belly Button in or out? In
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but I'm still wearing my "replacement ring" which is my old junior high ring from my parents.

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:  Finding out the gender!  And seeing our little one again!!