Welcome to the old Apartment...

This is where we used to live...

I'm really going to miss our little condo. 

I mean, it'll be so great to have a place to put everything, and have room to move and grow - but I will always have a special place in my heart for our little place.

It was April 20th 2009 that we signed the papers for it, a mere day after I moved up to Edmonton (I came up a couple weeks before so we could go house hunting, but only officially packed up the Uhaul and moved up on the 19th).  We got the keys on May 7th, and on May 8th Ben's mom and I got to work painting.  On the 2009 May long weekend Ben and I moved box after box in our little Toyota Corolla from his old apartment to our new condo.  We could only take 4-6 boxes at a time, and carried everything by hand.  By the monday we were aching and exhusted, and we hadn't even moved the furniture yet. 

On Tuesday May 19th Ben and I took off work early, and with the help of our friend Christine, and Ben's parents we moved the rest of our furniture into the Condo, and slept our first full night with all our stuff on a mattress on the floor. 

The Sunday following moving day, Ben proposed to me, and we began a new chapter in our lives together, in our new home. 

Last night was our last sleep in the condo.  We slept on a mattress on the floor, on May 19th 2011.  Exactly 2 years from that first night. 

2011 seems to be the "Year of the House" for many people!  Graham and Ashton just bought their first house together, Lisa and Lee are building a new house, and sold their old one, Shawna one of my employees, just signed the papers on her first house the other day, Dave and Abby rented out their Condo, and bought a house together, and Jeff and Gina just listed their townhouse for sale!

Man.  I can't believe it's been two years already...

In that time, we bought a brand new car, saved for and planned our wedding in Mexico, got married, threw receptions, did photo shoots, attended Calgary plays, had numerous game nights, made new friends, went for long walks in the river valley, celebrated birthdays, and anniversaries, launched a company, learned photography skills, and so many more things!

This first chapters of our lives is closed, and Ben and I are both very excited to start our next chapter in our house together, but we will still talk about our Condo for years to come :)

Farewell Suite #1502, may you be as wonderful a home for the next owner as you were to us :)

What do you want to be when you grow up?

The answer to that question has changed numerous times throughout my life.  In fact I can't really name anyone who started out with one idea and stayed on track as they grew up.  I think there's such a great sense of innocence to just picking something at random and telling the fates that you have decided.  Once it comes down to schooling, talent and experiences the road gets a little muddy, and that's usually when bumps and turns appear that can change your course.

When I was 9 or 10 I wanted to be an artist.  My Mom was always finding little drawings around the house of my doodles, rainbows, horses, people - you name it.  As I got a little older it was Artist or Hairdresser (I was really shooting for the stars).  I think my dad was a little dismayed in my choices, especially compared to my brother who wanted to be a paleontologist as soon as he was old enough to say the word, and then that morphed into a video game designer (he was fixing my parents computers from age 10 and on).  I recall my dad once asking me if I was going to live in a cardboard box too - since a Hairdresser and Artist don't exactly bring home big pay cheques.

Once I got to high school I took an interest in a different kind of art - Theatre.  I love acting, I loved directing, I loved the tech side, I loved everything about the stage.  Actress wasn't really that much higher on the pay scale from Artist, and I think my choices remained a sorce of frustration for my father, who only ever wanted my brother and I to have the best.  At one parent teacher interview with my Drama teacher my parents asked Mr. Jack point blank if he thought that I could be successful as an Actress, and Mr. Jack responded by saying "she is talented, and if she works hard I'm sure she can achieve what she puts her mind to".  Excellent response Mr. Jack.


In 2002 I graduated from High school, and not only had a "best student" award in Drama for the highest mark 3 years running, I also had an educational video for the Calgary Board of Education under my belt, and I had been asked to audition for a teen version of "Inside Entertainment" (which never even got to the pilot stage before the idea was scrapped).  I was feeling pretty good about my acting career, and decided that I wanted to further my knowledge with Post Secondary.

I auditioned for Mount Royal College with both a contemporary monologue and a Classical, but my shyness got in the way and I shook and stuttered through my whole audition, forgetting most of my classical monologue.  When I had finished and I was standing there fighting back the tears, one of the judges softly said "well, you are hands down the most nervous person we have ever had audition for us".  Needless to say, I didn't get a call back, and I walked out of the room and burst into tears. 

I ended up in the U of C Drama Program primarily because the first year didn't require an entrance audition, and I knew that I wasn't at a place where I could comfortably audition for Mount Royal again.

During this time frame, I started seriously considering other lines of work, and in the back of my mind Interior Design started popping into my thoughts more and more.  To this day I always say "If I had never gone into theatre I would have done Interior Design" - but more on that later. 

So within the first month that I was at University, I had one of the techs for the lunch time theatre program ask me to stage manage for them.  I told him that I had never done it before, but that I was willing to learn, and just like that I was a stage manager.  The first show I stage managed was 3 one act plays that all tied together called Perennials - Roses are Red, Violets are Blue and Lillies are Pale.  The show had a cast of 7, with 3 directors, sets plans, sets of props, and costumes - and some how it went off without a hitch!

It ended up being an awesome show, and was later submitted to the One-Act-Festival at the Pumphouse, and later won Best Technical, Best Male Lead, and Best Original Script. (fun fact, my old high school drama teacher, Mr. Jack, also had a show at the One Act, and yelled out when I went up to get the Tech award "I taught her at Forest Lawn!"  and then came up to me in the lobby and asked "is there anything you can't do?"  Which made me feel pretty God Damn Awesome!)

That was all I needed and I was in love with Stage Managing!  I signed up to take the Stage Managers course the following year, as well as the Stage Make-up Course.  At the same time as my confidence grew throughout the year, so did my acting and auditioning abilities, and at the end of my first year I auditioned for the Drama 300 acting class, and got in!

As well I called Anna to wish her a happy birthday on May 5th, and she asked me if I wanted to be in a play that summer that was going to tour through Winnipeg and Edmonton with the Fringe Circuit.  Of course I said yes, and the next thing I knew I was dialing the number of the director (Dan) to set up an audition.  Now at the time I'm writing this, I've known Dan for just over 7 years, and I know that he is fun, friendly, witty, kind and gentle, and I have no problem giving him a call to hang out or catch dinner together - but when I was 19, and still battling shyness, it took me a hell of a long time to get up the nerve to call him - and several times I had to talk myself out of just forgetting about the whole thing and throwing away his number all together.  But man am I ever glad I called!

Does this man look scary to you?

With that phone call, I booked myself an audition, which later resulted in a roll in my favorite Scorpio show to date, traveling to Winnipeg and Edmonton, having a great summer, and making long lasting friendships with some of the best people I have ever had the privilege of meeting.

Not at all!  He's one of my favorite people!

I really owe so much to Scorpio, and all the wonderful people in it, as they helped me get through one of the toughest summers in my life.  You see on June 17th at 1:05am my father suffered a fatal heart attack which turned my whole world upside down.


Those tours, and those people gave me the distraction, and love that I desperately needed at the time, and I'm so very thankful for them.  But that's for another story.


Back to the "life Path" storyline.


So in September 2004, I entered into my second year in a daze.  I don't really remember much about the first few months of school, just little snippets.  Like hearing my dad's song on the radio and sitting in the parkade crying and missing my 9am class.  Or staying up until 4am talking to my mom trying to make sense of the new hole in our lives, and then arriving late for acting class in the morning.  Truth be told I was a horrible student at that time - it probably would have been a good idea to take some time off at that stage, but I didn't, and as a result, I screwed some things up for myself.  I pulled away from people, didn't want to be hugged, or touched.  I broke up with my boyfriend after steadily pulling away from him and finding his small gestures "clingy".  And I destroyed my University acting career.


I was late every day, I was flustered, and emotional.  I couldn't concentrate, I let down my partners, and over all I just pulled away.  I felt like I didn't have anyone I could talk to.  No one could understand what I was going through, and I didn't want to be on the center of any stage right then.  At one point we were preforming monologues that we had rehearsed, and one of my class mates did a monologue about talking at his son's funeral, and I cried through the whole thing.  By the time it was my turn to preform my cheeks were tear stained and my voice was shaky.


I pulled away from acting, and spent more time on the tech side of things.  It was easier for me to be backstage, I had my binder and my notes, and sat silently for most of the rehearsal process.  I organized things, scheduled costume fittings, prop meetings, filled out rehearsal reports and over all just stayed out of the spot light.  Overall, I just dove into being super organized as a way to distract myself and deal and as it turns out - I'm an awesome stage manager.

Assistant Stage Manager for Newhouse 2005

As well I took on Scene Painting, and did some Stage Make-up for shows.  I was on the stage less and less and I was okay with that, and by the end of my second year I decided that I wasn't going to audition for the next acting class, and that I was just going to concentrate on tech.


Fast forward to now, and I'm still a stage manager, I'm a make-up artist, I'm sometimes an actress, and I am even a little bit of an interior designer too! (I completely re-designed my parent-in-law's kitchen, and I've been going crazy designing our new house too!)


And the end result with my father?  Well months after he died my mom told me that he came home from giving me a ride one night, and he said he wasn't worried about me anymore, that a conversation we had had showed him that I had a good head on my shoulders and that I knew what I was doing, and that he was really proud of the person I've become.  It's nice to hear, and it would have been better coming from him - but that's for another post too... 


I remember that conversation exactly.  Dad asked me "so what's a Drama degree going to do for you?" and I laughed and said "not a damn thing - It's a piece of paper I'm going to put on the wall to make you happy!  It's not about the degree, it's about the experience I'm getting!  I'm not just studying acting, I'm studying stage management, directing, make-up, scene painting, and whatever else I can learn.  And I'm being taught by some of Canada's best in the business.  Actor's are a dime a dozen, but techs are worth more, and a good tech is hard to find.  I will always have work as a tech."


These days I'm more into the Make-up Artist side of things, but that's mainly because I am still a little nervous to take the leap into the Edmonton Theatre Community (I don't know anyone here, and it's nerve racking to just walk into a theatre and say "Hi, I'm Heather, I'm a stage manager"), but I'll work up to it.  It's definitely a love of mine, and I will be back :)


So what did I want to be when I was little?  An Artist.  What am I?  A Make-up Artist.   Same title, different medium - Go me, I guess I did end up staying on the same path!  I just got a little distracted along the way!

Growing Pains

I was browsing a friends blog this afternoon when I came across a post she made in regards to how far she has come in battling shyness, and it made me realize how much I have in common with her.

People who know me these days often say they find it hard to believe that I was ever shy, but it's true - I was, and AM quite shy, I've just learned to cope (and hide it).

Vegas Heather is not Shy...

High school Heather, however - not so much.

Grade 12 Heather

I was very quiet in high school, I only had two friends, and often they would ditch me and go out for lunch together without telling me, and I would eat my sandwich alone at my lockers.  In Grade 10 I was hit by a car and broke both my arms, and people knew me as "the girl with two broken arms"  but no one knew my name, and once I got my casts off, people still knew there had been a girl with two casts, but very few realized that it had been me.  I was a wall flower at best.  In English class some people discovered that I could understand Shakespeare, and I overheard a couple conversations where one classmate was trying to get their friend to ask me the answer to some of our Shakespeare questions, but neither of them could remember my name.  My grade 12 Math teacher never learned my name either, twice I brought in a parent signature on a mid term grade, and he kept scanning the wrong class list for my name.  Years later I would run into people from High school who would introduce themselves to me, and I would respond "I know, we had English together" or something of the like, and not once would they remember me.  

Theatre and Dance however, was another story though.  I was the most comfortable on the stage.  I actually owe my coming out of my shell to the stage, I lived for the high I got from it, so I pushed myself in order to get that feeling.  I threw caution to the wind and auditioned for the school play in my first year of high school and got a small singing roll, but my nerves got the best of me and my voice cracked every time I went to hit the high note each night we performed.  As well, only one person in the cast took the time to come talk to me and learn my name.  I avoided the wrap up party, because I knew I would be sitting by myself the whole time and would be miserable anyway.  The second year I avoided the play, but I took the theatre class and pushed myself to be comfortable with Improv.  At the start of the year I would dread being called up, but by the end I was the first to jump up on stage - even though I still chewed my nails down to nubs the whole time I was waiting to go up.  In  grade 12 not only did I audition for the school play, and get one of the leading roles, but I was captain of my own Improv team, and held the highest mark in both Theatre and Dance 3 years running.

"Delayed Reaction" My Improv Team

As a result of my love for the stage, I went into the U of C Drama program and decided going in, that I would force myself to talk to people and make friends because I felt like I had been missing out on so much.

And I did.

The Drama Undergraduate Program had a lounge in the basement of Craigie hall where all the Theatre majors hung out between classes, and I made myself go in on the first day.  My stomach was doing flip flops and I felt like I wanted to throw up, but luckily, if you are meeting new people, the best one's to meet are Drama people, as the group is generally made up of people who never really fit in as it was, so they are all very accepting of new people.  I made fast friends, people who learned my name, and wanted to know things about me - not just the answers to my homework.  I even auditioned for the lunch time Improv group and made the team!  And it was signing next to my name on the call board that I met my best friend Anna.  She had also made the team and was standing with a few others on the team trying to figure out who Heather was when I walked up with my pen in hand.  When they saw me sign my name Anna exclaimed "Oh You're Heather!" And scooped me up into a big bear hug as a congrats for making the team!

Years later Anna would fly to Mexico with me and stand by my side as my Maid of Honor at my wedding.

From Left to Right: Dee, Busty, Anna and I

Out of all of the experiences that have shaped who I am today, I would say the time frame in which I was in University is probably one of the most valuable.  I did so much growing up within that time, and those walls, and learned so much about myself.  In my 3.5 years, I had my first long term boyfriend, lost my father to a heart attack, stayed up till 7am with friends, went for drives to Canmore just to blow off steam at 3am, moved out with room mates, suffered heart break, spiraled dangerously toward chronic fatigue, made friends, lost friends, got A's, got an F, bought my first car, fought with room mates - the list goes on.

These days I have no problem asking for directions, or chatting up someone new, but I still battle with social situations, and often I automatically want to resort back into my shy self just to escape dealing with things.  It's a constant battle but I'm very proud of how far I've come, and the person that my experiences have made me.


And just a side note of a cute "shy story"....
I met Ben online, and after several months of talking a few online friends had decided we would meet up for dinner and a party one night when a mutual friend was in town, so Ben came down from Edmonton.  When I walked into the restaurant, there were hugs all around and a met a couple people in person that I hadn't yet met, and then out stepped Ben.  He flashed me his bright smile, and gave me a big hug and I immediately turned 3 shades of red and stared at my feet!  My thoughts raced but mostly they were saying "Holy shit!  He's really cute!  His pictures don't do him justice!"  For the whole dinner, I resorted back into my shy self and couldn't make eye contact with him.  I talked a mile a minute, and kept my hands in my lap to keep anyone from seeing that I was shaking.  It took me the better part of the night to look him in the eye, and it wasn't until late evening when the rest of the party guests had turned in for the night that I could even carry out a conversation with him.  We ended up talking all night, and when I left at 9am the next morning, I was smitten.

The night we met, can you believe I was having a small heart attack while this photo was being taken?