Well stocked freezer

Last weekend was action filled - and food filled!  Ben's mom and I spent all day on Sunday prepping delicious meals to drop in the slow cooker or oven at a moment's notice when our little girl arrives, to make things a little easier on us when I'm sleep deprived and covered in spit up. 

Since a few people have asked, I've decided to type out a few of the recipes I prepped!

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Porcupine Balls:  (Not actual porcupine meat...)

2 Pounds of lean ground pork or Hamburger
2 cans of condensed tomato soup
2 cans of beef consume
1 can of water
pepper
2 cups of long grain rice (not instant)
1 medium onion chopped fine

-Preheat oven to 350F
- Combine the meat, onions and rice and form into large meatballs (about the size of a childs fist)
- In a seperate bowl combine the rest of the ingredients until a smooth "soup"
-Line meatballs in bottom of large greased roasting pan
-Pour "Soup" over meatballs ensuring all meat is covered.
-Cover with lid and bake for 2 hours, turning meatballs over halfway though

(the rice in the meatballs will stand straight out, looking like porcupines - hence the name)

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Meatloaf:

2 pounds of hamburger
2 packages of Stove Top Stuffing
2 cups of water
2 eggs

Combine all ingredients - smoosh into loaf pan (this is where I froze these but if you want them cooked ahead of time, just bake at 350F for 15-20 minutes - then freeze when cool)- yeilds 3 loaves

... easy peasy!

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 Beef Barley Soup

 1 pound Beef Stew Meat - diced bite size
chopped carrot
chopped celery
chopped onion
parsley flakes
pepper
pinch of granulated sugar
2 tbsp beef bouillon powder
1 cup pearl barley
2 cups of tomato sauce

Combine all ingredients into on Large freezer bag (the celery, carrot and onion don't have an exact amount because I never measure that - I usually just put in what looks like a hearty soup).  Freeze.  When you want to cook it, take it out of the freezer the night before, and throw it in the slow cooker in the morning with 5 cups of water - cook on low 8 hours or on high for 4. 

 _____

 Sesame Chicken

3 pounds skinless chicken thighs
1/2 cup soy sauce
1/3 cup brown sugar
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp ground ginger
2 tbsp ketchup
2 tbsp toasted sesame seeds

Combine all ingredients in a freezer bag and freeze. 

To cook, throw thawed contents of bag in Slow Cooker on Low for 8 hours.

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I also made up some....

Chili:  I throw hamburger, black beans, kidney beans, diced tomatos, tomato paste, chili powder and corn in a slow cooker and cook all day adding spices as I see fit.  then I put into screw top ziplock containers and freeze

Mac and Cheese Casserole:  Cook elbow pasta in one pot, melt butter, milk and cheddar cheese in another pot- throw in some spice (salt and pepper, cayenne pepper, and paprika)  - drain pasta and toss in cheese mixture - then layer into casserole pan with shredded chedder cheese layer between - top with shredded chedder, then bake for 10 min at 350, followed by 2 minutes on broil to brown the top. 

Sheppard's Pie:  Brown hamburger and season, in a seperate pot cook onion, garlic, peppers, carrots, celery and corn - combine everything.  make up 2  brown gravy packets and mix in - throw in tinfoil pans and top with mashed potatoes.



We made a few other things too on Sunday, but my memory is failing me - it was a bit of a whirl wind day!!  The meals were pretty simple - I was mostly concerned with the proteins, as I can always throw a bagged salad into a bowl to go with whatever I cooked, but deciding on the meat and the way in which I cook it has always been an issue for me - so this saves me some time!!

I also made sure I had a couple store bought freezer lasagna's, pizza's and perogies on hand as well, just to mix it up a little  - I know they are not the most complicated dishes, but now and then you need simplicity, and something that takes 20 minutes or less to prep ends up being a God Send at times!


A Huge Thank You to Mom for helping me out with the planning, shopping, and prepping!  I would still be chopping onions with tears streaming down my face without you!!! <3 <3

 

38 weeks

38 weeks.  Wow.  When this whole experience started I couldn't picture myself sitting at 38 weeks waiting for my little girl to make her way into this world!  Of course I could picture years down the road with a toddler, and going to the Zoo as a family, and visiting the Science Center and such, but I just couldn't see those last couple weeks of my pregnancy - getting here.  To this point. 

When Ben and I started planning a family, a friend of mine recommended a website called the Two Week Wait (named for the nerve wracking time frame between Ovulation and the pregnancy test when you are waiting to see if anything stuck and you successfully conceived that month), she said it was an amazing resource of information where you could learn how to properly track what was happening with your body, and talk to other women to ask questions and share experiences.  I joined the site last November, and shortly before getting my positive test stumbled upon a wonderful group of woman all over the world who I am happy to call some of my very dear friends.  We met in an open chat thread, and week after week we compared stories, laughed together, cried together and got to know each other, until the group slowly whittled down to 14 amazing woman that have stayed in contact together for the better part of a year to support each other and share experiences and news.  When we first met, non of us were pregnant.  Now 10 are, 3 of which are due within 3 days of each other - myself - Nov 6th, Tessa - Nov 7th and Lynn - Nov 8th.  As this week marks 38 weeks for all three of us, one of the girls discovered that we were back in the Two Week Wait.  We've come full circle, and now we wait and see who goes first!  Another fun fact - all three of us are expecting girls!  In fact out of the 10 ladies who are pregnant, there are 5 girls, 2 boys and 3 unknown at this point! 

Man.  Two weeks isn't a lot of time!  Especially considering that just because that's the count down to my Due Date, doesn't mean Lump will follow the schedule!  She may arrive in 3 weeks, she may arrive tomorrow!  Only she knows, and unfortunately she's not about to tell me ahead of time!  I think we are ready for her though.  Last night I got Ben to install the car seat in the car, I have Lump's bag packed, and mine starting to be (I can't exactly pack away all my clothes when I'm living off of such a limited wardrobe right now -so I need to keep things out) I have a list of things to put in the bag sitting beside the bag so that when I do get that feeling I won't be running around trying frantically to remember what I'm going to need between contractions! 

The Nursery is ready for her (aside from finishing the Mobile, but that will hardly take any time at all - just a little wood, a clamp to fasten it to the crib, and some fishing line, and we're all set!) I've gone through boxes and boxes of clothing that was both purchased and generously loaned out to me, and it's all washed and folded/hung in place just waiting for our little one's arrival!  I even organized it by size in the closet starting with newborn sleepers on the far left and as you travel to the right the sleepers gradually get longer and bigger!  I have all my 0-3 month clothing on the top rack, and the 3-6 month clothing on the bottom with all the onsies in the drawers organized by size too!  (I'm a virgo... it's what I do!)

My mom came up on a day trip this last week for a visit and brought my grandparents, who presented me with a beautiful sweater and hat that my grandmother lovingly knitted especially for my little girl.  It's so beautiful, and it means so very much to me to have something that was made with her in mind.  At the shower my mom gave me several sweaters and outfits that my grandmother had made when my mom was expecting me, and now I have something to present to Lump at her baby shower for her little girl many many years down the road.

I'm actually blown away at how many of our friends have hand made us things for our little girl!  We have a quilt, three crocheted blankets, a swaddling wrap, and now this beautiful little sweater!  Who says the information age has destroyed hand made gifts and notions?  Lump is a very loved little girl already.  I can't wait to introduce her to all these incredible people! 


My freezer is also fully packed and ready for baby as Mom T came over this last weekend and we made 20-30 meals in anticipation, and I still have a couple more I'm going to whip up this week to cover all our bases. 

At this point I believe a couple bottles are all we are missing as far as "stuff" goes and I expect to pick those up this week.  We even connected and charged up the baby monitor!  Speaking of the Monitor, it's awesome!  We turned it on the other day, and Mom, Dad and I stood in the Nursery and chatted while Ben took the Parent unit and went for a walk, he said he walked half way down the block (at least 8 or 9 houses away) and it was still clear as day!  (not that we intend to do that, but it's nice to know we can be outside cutting the grass or changing the oil on the car while Lump naps and still be connected to her!)  For any Mommy or Daddie's-to-be this is the one we have:

Safety First - Digital Baby Monitor

As far as how I'm feeling these days, I feel pretty good!  I still have a little pain in my pelvis as Lump descends further into place, but I only really notice it when I'm transitioning from a seated to standing position, or when I do a lot of walking.  Because I'm in the final weeks I've been seeing my OB on a weekly basis, and on our last appointment she told me that the head has dropped further which explains the increased waddle - and Lois even commented that I'm carrying lower already between last week and this week - she's fairly certain I won't be seeing November, but only time will tell!  Ben and I are preparing for a Halloween baby, as it would be fitting for us considering how much we both love Halloween!  (that's right, that's my only basis for expecting her then... if it were me, I would want to be a Halloween baby too!)  But truth be told, as long as she doesn't arrive on Rememberance Day I would be thrilled with whatever Birthday she chooses :)

Since we are getting closer and closer to D Day, I have been giving Ben a little homework to catch up on as my coach to ensure that he is also fully aware of the steps and phases of labour, and can help me through them when the time comes.  In true Ben style though, he has been taking his new found knowledge and playing doctor with me, messaging me during the day to ask me if I "have started leaking yet" (water breaking) and asking if he needs to come home with the paper towel to clean up the floor and such.  Such a comedian that man :P

Yesterday he proudly informed me that he's caught up on his daily emails from the labour and delivery resource website we are both subscribed to - when I asked him if he learned anything he responded "lots of gross stuff".  I had a pretty good laugh at that.  No one ever said Labour was a pretty experience!  I'm fine if he can't name what I'm going through, or know the different stages of my recovery, as long as he's aware that giving birth is one of the most traumatic experiences a woman's body can go through, and for the following weeks afterward, he needs to understand that I am going to be doing my best to maintain normalcy, but if I have a hormonal sob one day, followed by being too exhausted to haul myself to my feet the next, he just needs to roll with the punches and fill in where I can't until I get through this.  I'm not worried though - Ben is a good man, and even though we love to tease each other, and he jokingly plays the part of "clueless father"- I know that he would do whatever was required of him to make sure his girls were taken care of, and he's going to be an amazing dad.

... and now I'm crying.  ...what up Hormones?!?  Honestly the other night I was watching Lump's ultrasound video again, and I started blubbering!  I know I was sensitive in the past, but this is ridiculous!  ... Don't mind me, just carry on with what you were doing... over emotional pregnant woman over here...


Anyway, here is potentially one of the last 2 (or 3?) recaps!

How far along? 38 Weeks

Total weight gain: 28 Pounds  - Same
Inches gained in the waist: 12” (47.5” waist now!) ½” bigger, I think Lump dropping further put more of her back and tush around my belly button, making that area wider. 

Maternity clothes? … um… not really anymore?  My outfits these days are mostly Value Village Men’s XL shirts, and Men’s sweat pants.  I only have one or two items from my original Maternity clothing that still covers me up, but I’ve out grown most everything else!  The other day I wore a dress over pants because I didn’t have a shirt long enough, and the dress itself was too short!

Stretch marks?  Same as last week – they are there, and I’m hoping they go quickly once Lump makes her arrival! 

Sleep:  Lots of tossing and turning – I honestly think the cooler nights and having the furnace on is the cause of it – I sleep quite well when I’m chilly – I always have my arms and feet outside of the blanket and I like my shoulders on the cooler side – with the bulk of the blanket covering my torso and most of my legs, when that furnace kicks in in the middle of the night however –I suddenly awake sweating and kick everything off, only to awake an hour later having finally cooled down to pull it all back again… I miss September… 

Best moment this week:  It was a good week!  I can’t say for certain what was the best!  I’m just enjoying every day right now!

Miss Anything? It’s difficult to get up and off the couch these days, so the tiny bladder is a pain in the ass when I can’t make it through an hour show without struggling to get up twice!  Plus I’ve been getting up in the middle of the night to pee too which isn’t helping me feel well rested.  Oh well.  Soon I’ll get my bladder back! 
Movement:  Still rolling around!  It’s awesome that I can feel some recognizable bumps these days! 

Food cravings:  Nothing. 

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: I had 2 BH contractions last week, and that’s been it.  I didn’t even cramp up when Ben and I went for a walk, which is usually what triggers them!   

Symptoms:   more of the same

Belly Button in or out? Still in!  I’m going to call it – it’s not popping! 
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring, but I think I’m going to retire it, as I don’t know when labour is going to start, and I doubt “take off your ring” is going to be the first thing on my mind, and I don’t want to get to the hospital and have them have to cut this one too because everything swelled up and I can’t get it off!   

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:   My little one’s arrival! 

37 Weeks

So considering it's technically week 38 today, I should probably get around to writing my 37 week blog entry!

37 weeks!  So where I last left off, I just came down with a horrible cold that had me alternating between feverish and cold chills, I was stuffed up, and wheezed when I tried to sleep.  All in all, it was a fabulous week (sarcasm sarcasm sarcasm!)...  Truth be told Tuesday - Friday are a bit of a blur, my body shut down on me.  Considering I am running two major programs at once at the moment (Heather and Lump), my body just didn't have the "battery life" to continue with both, and so it took Lump as priority, and shut down Heather.  I slept a lot this week.  At one point Ben came home and woke me up at 5:20pm, I had laid down for a rest at 1:30, and was knocked completely out! 

I also spent the week sleeping in the guest room in the basement so that I didn't get Ben sick (He's doing the work of 3 people at the office right now, and can't afford to be feeling under the weather right now!)  I plugged in the cool mist humidifier that Lump received at the baby shower and test drove it for the week, and I think it definitely made a difference in me sleeping through the night!  It helped subside the wheezing long enough for me to fall into a deep sleep, and even though I still woke up in the middle of the night choking because I was so dehydrated, my sleep cycles were a little more solid in between! 

I also saw my OB on Tuesday morning, and after examining me, informed me that my little girl would not be making her appearance this week - which was a bit of a relief!  At this point I'm just taking each week one at a time!  I'm running on her schedule these days!

Saturday Ben and I had tickets to the Eskimo's Football game at 2:00pm, and we ended up lucking out on the weather as it was warm and sunny most the day!  We bundled up anyway, and it ended up being a perfect day!  We enjoyed the game with Ben's uncle Dean and cousin Sheldon, and we had a lot of fun!  Then on the shuttle bus home I suggested to Ben that we go out that night and have a date night, since those will be pretty few and far between once Lump does arrive on the scene!  We ended up having a wonderful dinner at New Asian Village and stuffed ourselves full of curry and butter chicken before heading home to watch a movie together!  It was a wonderful day! 

On Sunday,  Lisa, Ashton and Lisa's mom Lois threw me a mini shower since they had been out of town for my main Baby shower.  The boys took Ben out for drinks, and us girls went for lunch and spent the afternoon together!  It was really nice to just be able to relax with friends!  I also got some great pointers on the best place for diapers and the best diaper rash creme to use from Lisa, who went through it all with her twin boys!  I'm very lucky, I have such wonderful friends!! 

On Monday during the day, Ben met up with the very talented Tiffany who had our Star Wars Mobile dolls all ready for us, and I couldn't have asked for more, they are so adorable, and so perfect!!!  Ben and I are going to get started making a mobile to hang these little darlings off of now!!! 

Then that night, Ben and I picked up Mom and Dad T from the airport after their wonderful vacation in the States, and we sat down to enjoy some pie and tea and chat for a bit.  It sounds like their trip was a blast, and they were relieved to find Lump was still "doing time" when they arrived home too :)

As far as my pregnancy goes, I'm doing well, Lump has dropped a bit (what this means is that her head has descended a little further into my pelvis to get ready for her exit - this usually means it's easier to breath and eat, but the waddle is increased exponentially, and the frequency of bathroom breaks goes up big time!).  As well my pelvis is shifting to make room for the head to pass through, so I'm experiencing a bit of pain there, but it's nothing I can't handle, it just makes walking a little more interesting. 

Here's the recap!

How far along? 37 Weeks

Total weight gain: 28 Pounds  - Down 2 – I think the 30 pounds of last week WAS the water I had been flushing to get rid of the cold!
Inches gained in the waist: 11.5” (47” waist now!) Same

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  Same as last week – they are there, and I’m hoping they go quickly once Lump makes her arrival! 

Sleep:  I can’t really say, this week’s sleep was brought to me by the letter C for Cold, and Cough – it can hardly be judged on fair grounds!

Best moment this week:  Starting to feel a little better, and the Date night with Ben, followed by a day with some of my favorite ladies!

Miss Anything?  I would be okay with a full sized bladder again… rationing water because I know I have to get groceries is annoying!
Movement:  Still practicing her gymnastics in there!

Food cravings:  Nothing. 

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: Nothing really these days, I haven’t even really been experiencing BH contractions for the last bit. 

Symptoms:   more of the same

Belly Button in or out? Still in!
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring. 

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:   My little one’s arrival! 

36 Weeks

4 weeks left.  We have officially passed the one month mark - the countdown is now sitting at 28 DAYS left to go!  (give or take - of course).  Truth be told, I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the last week of October - just in case.  So really... Ben and I are prepping ourselves to go anytime after October 25th.... I'm okay if Lump stays inside for a little while longer, but the more I talk to people, the more people tell me that their little one made their appearance before week 39, so although it's not likely we still want to cover our bases.  Stats say only 5% of babies are born on their due date - of the remaining 95% - 30% arrive before and 70% arrive after - that being said, there are good chances that we will have our little one after Nov 6th but it would be silly not to be prepared for her to arrive early either.

This week had been going so very well!  Toys R Us finally paid us back (and credited us extra for the hassle... or at least that's what I'm assuming - perhaps they have no idea what they are doing and are not aware they gave us more - either way, I'm not saying anything, I had to fight for the money they over charged me, so they can do the leg work and contact me if they want the extra credit back!) it only took them 48 days!

Then I managed to snag myself an amazing deal on baby clothes, and got 3 large boxes FULL of 0-9 month clothing for $60!  Lump is going to be one very styling little girl in the next few months!  All in all, I can say I'm set for clothing now!  ... well at least for 6 months (who knows how big our little one will be!)  It's hard to shop for someone when you don't know their size!  Don't even get me started on shoes...



I also discovered this amazing little gem at my grocery store...

How it took me 9 months to even know such a sign existed I'll never know!  But since then I've been keeping my eyes open for more, and so far there are many "Mother with Child" parking spots, but I have yet to see another Expectant mom parking space!  Oh well, I'll take it when I can get it! 

Also, my Ergo arrived!  Of course since I'm already "baby wearing" I couldn't exactly strap it onto myself, but I got Ben to try it out, and immediately he requested that we try it out on our own little baby:

The comments on this photo were peppered with "did he claw your eyes out?" and the like, but truth be told, we have the most mellow cat in the world!  He wasn't sure about what we were doing at first, but once he was secured, he was totally fine, and just looked around.  He didn't squirm, and he didn't cry!  Ben and I have a theory that he thinks that all the baby stuff is for him.  In the basement he sleeps in Lump's stroller/car seat while we watch TV, in the living room, he curls up in the craddle, and in the Nursery, he sleeps in the changing pad.  So of course I had to do one better and swaddle him too...

Totally Content.  I wrapped him up, brought him upstairs and handed him to Ben, who carried him around for a minute, and then propped him up on the arm rest and turned on more lights in the room so he could take a picture with his phone.  Emmy just totally chilled the whole time.  I hope he is this calm about having a small baby in the house from here on out! 


This weekend was wonderful filled with great food and amazing people!  Friday night, Ben and I went for a walk in the beautiful autumn evening, and then attempted to watch a movie, but woke up at 10:45pm when the credits rolled and the lion roared.  Then woke up again at 1:30am when I finally requested we make our way to our bed! 

Saturday we celebrated the union of two wonderful people at Fort Edmonton, and had a wonderful Turkey dinner at the reception!  Then on Sunday we took part in the second annual Pie Day!  Erik Athena, Ben and I (this year missing Ashton) got together, and Athena and I made pie the whole day, while Erik and Ben played video games on 2 big screen TV's in the living room.  Then we enjoyed a Pizza dinner and a couple board games together with a slice of pie at the end!  It's a fun chill day for the boys, and a fun labour intensive day for the girls!  9 pies were made - 3 baked, and 1 consumed! 

On Monday I woke up feeling like I had been beaten with a rolling pin, but I have a freezer full of pie and another set of great memories with my good friends!  And I got my barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen, making pie photo too! 

After a bit of breakfast and some recoup, Ben and I headed to Graham and Ashton's with Pie and Turkey in hand for a Friend's Giving Dinner/Day together!  Graham and Ashton just got them selves a smoker, and we had a turkey looking to be smoked, so we decided it was a match made in heaven!  We wore sweats, we hung out and watched movies, and played games, and all in all had the most perfect relaxed Thanksgiving Day together! 

Everything was wonderful until about 7pm when I suddenly started feeling like I was coming down with a cold - by the time we got home around 10pm I was very stuffed up, and my throat was quite scratchy.  By 2am I was completely down with the sickness topped off with Fever and cold sweats! 


 I suppose it was bound to happen - here's a little known fact about pregnancy:  when you get pregnant your body suppresses your immune system so that it doesn't' accidentally try to fight off the baby as an infection or virus - which means, the preggo's of the world spend 40 weeks with next to no immune system treading very carefully to not get into "infectious" situations where they could potentially catch something. 

Now because of that fact not only did I get sick - somewhere (still no idea as to where I picked this up), but I also don't have much of an internal army to fight this off either - AND with rows and rows of cold meds and pills, there is next to nothing that I can take while pregnant either!  So I'm in bed, with the humidifier on, sipping tea, and blowing my nose every 2 minutes.  That's really all I can do.  The annoying thing is that it's really hard to flush fluids when I have the preggo bladder of a cat - I can't even tell you how many times I visited the bathroom today, but it wasn't less then 20 that's for certain!  

Anyway, I'm whining now - I tend to get like that when I'm sick.  It's usually best for everyone involved if I stay healthy, I dwell on the "poor me" otherwise.  I greatly dislike being ill.  Okay, that's a stupid remark, of course I dislike being sick!  Who likes it?  What I mean is that I don't take it gracefully!  Oh well, at least I have the time to be sick these days! 

Anyway, that catches us up - here's the belly and the recap:  (and yes there is no face in this picture - I took it today, and I wanted to spare you the un-showered, messy pony tail and red nose shot)

 

How far along? 36 Weeks

Total weight gain: 30 Pounds  - up another 2.5… but this could have been all the water I drank between midnight and 10am too)
Inches gained in the waist: 11.5” (47” waist now!) Same

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  Same as last week – they are there, and I’m hoping they go quickly once Lump makes her arrival! 

Sleep:  What’s that?  

Best moment this week: This weekend – up to about 7pm Monday night, it was a great friend filled time!

Miss Anything?   At this point, breathing through my nose!
Movement:  Still practicing her gymnastics in there!

Food cravings:  Nothing really these days.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: Still just BH contractions now and then

Symptoms:   more of the same

Belly Button in or out? Still in!
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring. 

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:   My little one’s arrival! 

35 weeks

I'm going to bail on the long post this week, and just do a recap - I just don't feel like saying much else. 

How far along? 35 Weeks

Total weight gain: 27.5 Pounds  - up another 1.5 pounds!
Inches gained in the waist: 11.5” (47” waist now!) Same

Maternity clothes? Yes!!

Stretch marks?  More than last week even – it was a good ride while it lasted, I suppose I can’t really get too upset about 5 weeks of stretch marks when my skin was fantastic for the whole rest of my pregnancy. 

Sleep:  Still not great – some days are better than others, but I think my bladder is taking it upon itself to get me used to the broken night’s sleep as I’m up at least once or twice a night to pee.   

Best moment this week: Just being off work, and getting to sleep in and get things done around the house. 

Miss Anything?   Moving with ease.   
Movement:  She has some pretty hefty kicks these days, and there have been a few moments of hiccups going on there too! 

Food cravings:  Nothing really these days.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  Nope

Gender: GIRL!     

Labor Signs: Still just BH contractions now and then

Symptoms:   more of the same

Belly Button in or out? Still in!  I might just make it!   
Wedding rings on or off? Off, but still easily wearing my school ring. 

Happy or Moody most of the time:  Very Happy!

Looking forward to:   My little one’s arrival! 

Advice

If you want to get people talking, get pregnant.  Have kids, go out in public with a baby strapped to the front of you and suddenly complete strangers will be giving you advice.  It's a weird phenomenon really - even people who have never had children of their own are suddenly child rearing experts "Stand back, I was a child once, I'll take it from here!".  "My mom raised me on fresh cream off the farm, and I turned out great!"  Awesome.  I'm happy for you.  I bet that was her choice though.  That's usually the kicker, people freely give advice with as little as eye contact from you, and yet no one considers that perhaps we've already made a few choices of our own, and have every right to do so (of course within reason, if a choice was harming a child I would definitely step in myself). 

My mom once told me that as a child I was a hummer - I was always singing or humming some song over and over again - All. Day. Long.  Once such day after running errands with me Mom found herself in the checkout line at the grocery store, and out of frustration of listening to my little tune for 8+ hours that day, she finally turned to me and said "Heather!  Stop humming!"  immediately the lady in front of her turned around and said "you know, I'm a teacher, and you shouldn't stifle a child's creativity."  I can see both sides of the equation, but I know that if I were with a 4 year old all day long who kept humming the same 4 bars of a made up song, I would probably request a little silence for a few minutes myself!  Mom didn't ask this lady for advice, but it was given none the less!

This is what I'm referring to.  

This may come as a surprise only to people who don't know Ben and I that well - but Lump was planned.  There was no oops, there was no frantic moment of "what do we do now?!?!".  This was our time to have a baby - we had planned this out years prior, you know, "first comes love, then comes marriage...." Only we are a little more detailed in our planning.  When we took that test, and that + sign developed, I looked up at Ben with tears in my eyes and whispered "we're going to have a baby!"  and he scooped me up in a big hug and we celebrated that it had finally happened!  Two weeks from that day I had read "What to expect when you are expecting" cover to cover, and the research has never stopped.  We had decided even before we had bought the condo, that we would live there for 2 years before buying a house, and then would try to start a family after we were settled, once we had the room.  We are blessed that someone was listening to our plans, and everything worked out exactly as we had wanted it too, and are expecting our first baby right on schedule! 

Lump has been planned since Ben and I first started dating - in fact, probably longer than that.  A family is something Ben and I both wanted, but of course we knew that it's a lot harder to get into a life long commitment like a child if you haven't made necessary preparations first (not impossible of course, but harder). 

Ben and I don't go into something without research first, which sounds a little cold and calculated especially when you are referring to a baby, but that's how we do it.  We are well aware that babies are expensive, and we had been budgeting, and crunching numbers, figuring out how to make Maternity Leave work, figuring in costs for diapers and clothing, planning for both formula feeding and breastfeeding if I happen to be unable to do the later etc.   We've even gone so far as to research all of the "child benefit" programs we can access to help with braces, and sports teams in the future. We have made countless lists documenting repairs and renovations in our lives, and figuring out what goes where, and how much.  Everything we do is calculated and planned.  When we got married, we paid for everything we could on our Visa (even though we had the money put aside) because it gave us Visa Rewards points.  In a year, we cashed in those points for a Future Shop gift card, and replaced our old tube television with a shiny new flat screen.  This is how we do things in the Thieson household. 

Now that's all very financial, and obviously there is more to a baby than money, and we are prepared for that as well.  We have discussed at length different parenting techniques and hurdles we might face, from discussing with Ben how to identify if I am dealing with PPD and how to help, to reading into programs to help Lump start sleeping through the night.  Hell, I've already researched potty training, and sign language.

Knowing all of that, it still amazes me that people still offer advice about what to expect when Lump arrives.  Or give us that "you just wait" comment with a knowing look.  I know we don't know everything - what parent does?  But I would hope that people would consider that with a month left to go, we would have done a little reading and research on the right car seat, diapers, sleeping position, 3 am feedings, etc and know a little about what to expect when our baby makes her entrance!  We are prepared for the sleepless nights, the lack of "us time" and the less than tidy house among a whole list of other things.  The other day Ben made a facebook status about how I made him breakfast before he headed off to work, and one of the comments left was: "Ben don't get used to it...once the baby comes you'll be second in line....lol"  Ben turned to me and said "do people honestly think I don't know that?!?"  

Perhaps it's our sense of humour that has people concerned for our parenting abilities?  Ben has made a couple jokes about how "babies use the litter box right?" and I'm now wondering if some people think we are serious?  Although maybe not, since we're not the only parents-to-be (or new parents) who are dealing with these remarks.  About a month ago a new parent asked me "are you tired of the advice yet?" and I guess I hadn't really noticed it at that point, but it seems very apparent that babies tend to disarm the filter in people.

I have always felt that parenting choices are a taboo subject (right up there with politics and religion), everyone has their own ideas and I have found in my limited experience that when it comes to parenting it's best not to question someone's choices.  I have friends who are 100% Co-sleepers, I know people who have lectured about "breast is best" I know people who are adament that you need to be silent when baby is sleeping, and I know other's who strongly suggest making as much noise as possible to get the child used to sleeping through sound.  I have never given these people advice because they are raising their children to the best of their ability and knowledge, and I trust that they too have done their research and have decided on the best choices for their babies, but I feel I'm in the minority in my choice to remain silent.  

I have been asked by numerous people if I'm going to get an epidural when I deliver, my response is always the same "I'm not going to pretend I know what to expect, so I'm going to play it by ear, I might be able to handle it, I might need the drugs, I'm not going into this thing adamant about one way or the other"  I feel the same about breast feeding, I know all the stats and I know the benefits, but I also know several amazing woman that were unable to breast feed, and it didn't make them less wonderful mothers, nor deprive their children from something amazing - so who am I to stand on my soap box and lecture those around me?  I happen to know one amazing mother who was unable to breast feed her two children - and her kids turned out awesome - that mom was mine.  I don't like the unsolicited advice from people, but what I like even less is the "holier than thou" approach some people take when it comes to giving that advice.

Somehow, some way in a world full of choices and different approaches amazing people are growing up around us all the time!  Have you seen the documentary "Babies"?  It's on Netflix and it follows the first 2 years of 4 children in different areas of the world, from Tokyo, to San Fransisco to a tribe in Namibia and a hut in Mongolia - all of these children have had a completely different upbringing, and yet they all all learn to crawl, walk, talk and develop at a similar rate.  If that doesn't speak volumns for the fact that you don't all have to make the same choices to end up with a similar outcome in parenting, I don't know what does?  

I suppose what I'm saying with my long winded rant is that I just don't understand what it is about babies that brings out the helpfulness in people.  Even the babies name!  I have had people tell me that they told their friends what they were planning on naming their expected bundle of joy only to be met with criticism and judgement over their choice!  Why do you think I call my little girl Lump?  Because no one has any right to comment on our choice, or try to "talk us out of it" before she arrives.  When you tell people the name ahead of time, there are those that have no problem voicing their opinions on your choice, but when you introduce them to a tiny squishy bundle of pure love and they learn the name then - people have a tendency to keep their opinions to themselves.

I'm not saying that Ben and I know everything there is to know, and that we will never need advice, not at all - we're not so arrogant in the sense that we think we have all our bases covered and our child will be perfect and never catch us off guard - hell no.  I'm expecting to be a little confused at times, I'm expecting a wave of panic here and there, and I'm sure my friends and family are also expecting the odd frantic phone call from me - but there's the kicker - I'll ask.  Ben and I have never had a problem with asking questions and talking about things with others, and we will never hesitate to do so if a situation arises that we are confused about which choice to make.  We know where our strengths lie and communication is high on the list.  Don't worry - if we don't know which step to take next - We'll ask.  But if we don't ask- assume we have already got it covered.